Thursday, December 15, 2011

There's Always Time

Tis' the season: exams, papers, finals, projects, applications... and for this season, there is always something we would rather be doing.  Being with family, wrapping gifts, celebrating with friends, sleeping.  And time is not on our side, in fact we are chasing after time but never seeming to capture it.  There is never enough and it's always fleeting.  Like chasing smoke, the wind, or falling snowflake.

I do not pretend to be an expert at time management.  I am often late for appointments.  I forget deadlines.  I have started and stopped keeping a planner more times than I can count.  I don't wear a watch (but in the time of cell phones, who does anymore?).  Time rules and ruins my life just as it does everyone else.  I detest the feeling as if I am not in charge of the time that I have.  I will admit, there is a comfort of surrender to the fact that I am not in charge of my time.  I am responsible for making the time I have as saturated as possible with all the things I value: people I love and care about, old friends and strangers, grace, beauty, and abundance of love.  These are inexhaustible resources, when time is lacking.  I am not responsible for the ticking clock, I couldn't stop it if I tried, I am responsible for the fullness I grant to time.  And not a full schedule, but full of what I love and value.

I think about the book of Ecclesiastes,  a piece of Hebrew wisdom literature, when I think of time.  There is a fullness of time presented here since there is a time for everything and a season for every occupation.   Part of living into this, and I am still working here, believe me, is allowing each season to have its fullness and not bringing other expectations to the time we have.  The "I would rather..." ruins the time I have.

So, while I am blogging instead of: drying my hair, studying for my final in two hours, shopping online for last minute gifts... I trust I am right where I need to be.  Today I will try to hold this in mind as I read my friend's status updates which claim much more fun activities then me as I plug away on my responsibilities.  I will be thankful for the fullness of time, in each sense.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to rest and a time to test.  A time to write and a time to refrain from writing.  A time to learn and a time to practice that learning, a time to break down and a time to build up.

May the time we have been given this season be enough.