I find in times where I am squeezed, I escape in lists. Making lists helps to make it all seem more organized and having a plan makes what is squeezing seem less constricting. These days I have been making lists and then forgetting where I put them. They find their way to scratch pieces of paper before disappearing into oblivion.
Today I was making a packing list with my husband for our upcoming honeymoon. It will be a delightful camping road trip with stops for frivolity and playfulness. We had made our first honeymoon list some weeks before, when we didn't even know the destination yet, including all the things we would hope for. Things like: buying matching t-shirts, camping on a beach, eating pie in sunny cafes, roasting marshmallows. Through that list, I could breath into the dreams, escaping into the borrowed sunshine of a trip yet to be.
Today's list was more technical. Our camping gear is spread out to three different locations: somewhere in our apartment, heaped in Michael's childhood bedroom, and mounded in my parent's basement. Where are our tents (yes, plural. We might have 6 total)? How many stakes do we have? Do we need to buy extra fuel tanks/a different sleeping bag/more wool hiking socks? What kind of groceries do you buy for a month long camping extravaganza?
Not surprising, I spilled coffee on the scratch paper list. And I didn't even clean it up for a good two minutes, just letting the small puddle be on the coffee shop table. I have an inkling that it was my way of letting be the squeeze. It exists, and it is temporary. In the meantime, the only way is through. A little coffee stain in the corner doesn't hurt to content. Though maybe I'll type out this list as well...
Happy Travels and spring blessings, dear friends.
